Currently Listening The Singles 86>98 By Depeche Mode Never Let Me Down Again see related

christmas stockings.

Work is starting to drag. I think the problem wasn't my old store, maybe it's Lowe's in general. The christmas tree thing sorts wore out any holiday spirit I might have had. My mom and brother are in town sharing the house. I hope I wasn't this annoying to share a house with... I probably was. And then add Lisa on top of that, I never know how annoying we might've been.

I bought a fancy-shmancy four hundred dollar mattress Wednesday night too. It's super new and super firm and super Ikea-ey. I slept on it for one night before having/volunteering to surrender my room and my mattress for me mum's sake. Now, it's back to the floor and no privacy for me. Maybe that's why I'm so blah.

Seriously though, I come home from work, after cleaning up another bloody mess @ work, and everyone's asleep and me mum attacks me as soon as I get in the door. I'm fine Mom, I can get my own dinner. No, I'm just really tired. I can see what you guys had for dinner; I see it in the fridge Mom. That's okay, I can get food if I'm hungry, really. Add in another ten questions about menial minutia, add I just want to slink away into nothingness.

My sister firmly believes that I needed to get away, far away from my mom. Jesus, I thought 3000 miles was enough. I worry though; I try not to treat her badly, or like a child. But damn, she makes it pretty tough sometimes. Of course I only 'mimic' what my brother and sister do; not like I mimic, but it's just developing like I am.

I'm such a bad son.

No-one is getting anything for Christmas on-time. Everyone will have to have packages mailed out, but the earliest I can do that is the 26th, because my funds are suspended until the 24th, and there's no point to sending anything out Christmas Eve.

I'm trying to keep my head up. It's tough. I feel like I"m walking with one leg. There are times when I fancy thr idea of having a child. The holidays would be so much fun for the spawn. I would be a horrible father; I would spoil them rotten. But, things should get better soon. It's getting 'cold' here at night. It's been 35-40. and I saw snow. I'm still jazzed about that.

I think I'll repost this other places too to let everyone know I"m not dead and they're getting stuff from me, eventually.

Apparently, of all things to leave behind; I left my flip-flops. Brilliant.

Blahz-A

I cut my hair and that was probably the most exciting thing to happen. I must've cut about 3-5 inches off. I'm not sure... I just know it was getting long.. I think I butchered a part in the back but whatever.

My room is coming together as I've settled in there... I think now it's time to focus on the outside... Seems like my first priority was to establish myself at home and then focus on the outside world.

It's coming around to Christmas and I have nothing for noone and no idea for noone... Ack Goodie, goodie christmas time!!!

I promise a better post next time, this one sucked ass.

continuance.

new.

Apparently I took 519 pictures along the way. I can send a photo journal to yous if yous wishes. Lemme know.

I think the best part of the trip was in Oklahoma City, El Reno exactly, when I was tired from two days of driving; I got a hotel room. I then went to local favourite Braum's, where the burgers will give you a heartattack. It was gross, the fries were nasty and it was all sooooo good. Also in Oklahoma City, I made a couple personal stops. In OKC, my grandmother and mother was born and raised, therefore a trip to my grandmother and grandfather's grave site was in order. The site was in good condition, the old house still looked good and the local area didn't seem to change very much from what I remember.

The worst part definitely would have to be desert. When I say desert I don't mean New Mexico. NM was nice, flat but pretty. Although I hit Albuquerque at night, I still hold the city in high respects in terms of nice. and pretty. I don't mean Arizona. AZ was flat at first and very mountainous in the middle and loaded with pine trees. Flagstaff was a nice city as well, but didn't get to stop in it. The end of Arizona was nasty, but California. You can drive three to fours hours across CA, and the first 75% of it is desert and shitty.

Two hours across the California desert, and it was actually warm here ( 75-80 degrees), whereas I had highs of 60 and lows of 40 across Tennessee, Arkansas, Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico and the beginning of Arizona. It was sunny and warm, long and monotonous. Then it was another two hours from the end of country-wide route 40 down to Oceanside. And I hit LA rush hour traffic to boot. Definitely the longest and most annoying part of the trip.

So yeah.. I'm sure I'll remember more, but I'm here. I'm not settled in. Five days ago I was in College Park, Md getting wings. Now I'm in another world, where I have no idea where the hell anything is. I have no idea what I'm walking into for work tomorrow; it's like the first day of school again. I'm definitely unsure about what the hell I'm doing here and how it's going to work. I still can't believe what I've just done.

What have I just done?

Go Skins.

I miss you all. Even the ones I detest. Not really.

tired. lost.